Obstacles to Parenting

There are many obstacles to parenting, some of which are increasing in intensity. I would like to identify three of them: 1) “The Media” 2) “Parental Peer Pressure” and 3) “Information Overload.”

Even though the media can add enrichment to our lives and can have many benefits, the negative influences that it has on young people can be very powerful. The media often promotes violence, sexual activity, disrespect for others (including parents), bullying and self-destructive behaviors. It often takes the place of family interactions, peer interactions, reading and recreational activities where children entertain themselves. Television, in particular, can distort truths, manipulate emotions, define norms and set trends for youth. It can take our children to levels of excitement and drama that comparatively makes school, personal relationships and life itself seem boring and unfulfilling.

It is important for parents to limit and monitor their children’s exposure to the media. Parents should try to establish media norms, expectations and limits when their children are young (when it is easier to do so) and then continue their efforts as their children get older even though it may become more difficult.

Parental Peer Pressure (the second obstacle mentioned) is the pressure that parents feel while making a parental decision based on “what other kids are doing” even though it goes against their instincts. Often Parental Peer Pressure causes parents to say “yes” when they think “no” because of a strong desire to have their child included with his/her peers. To combat Parental Peer Pressure, we must learn to trust our instincts, let character development drive our parenting and establish our own norms, expectations and limits. Parental Peer Pressure also contributes to over-indulging our children with material goods and excessive extra curricular activities. It can creep into family life without realizing it because it often is genuinely motivated by attempts to be great parents.

”Information Overload” is the last obstacle to be mentioned. Information Overload can give parents too much information, wear them down and increase their anxiety. It can contribute to over-protectiveness or cause parents to tune everything out. Information Overload can discourage and even paralyze parents into a state of non-action. Connecting with other parents, prioritizing our own parenting goals and remembering to give ourselves credit for our efforts and perseverance are valuable tools for countering Information Overload.